Full Circle...

20 years ago I walked the campus of Eastern Washington University for the first time. I will never forget the feeling of excitement as I moved into my tiny dorm room. It's hard to believe that 20 years later I am walking the same campus with my oldest son, a junior in high school who is also a running start freshman at EWU this fall.  He had his first orientation to campus life on Wednesday and there was no way I was going to miss that moment with him.  The campus looked the same and my mind was flooded with all of the wonderful memories from my freshman and sophomore year when I lived in Cheney.  There were also several times during the orientation that I had tears in my eyes, not tears of sadness but tears of joy.  Looking at my baby boy, who is now more of a man, I can't help but be proud of the person that he has become.

It was Christmas break my junior year at EWU when I found out I was pregnant.  My carefree college life changed from that moment on. I was 21 in a little apartment where I was busy changing diapers, midnight feedings, working full time and attending school part time while my friends were enjoying the bar and dancing the night away. But honestly, I wouldn't change any of it.  I look at it like this, I was able to be a mom sooner, which has allowed me to love my son longer.  To get to where we are now wasn't easy but so worth it. Parker was three when I finally graduated college with my BAE in elementary education.  One of my favorite pictures is of me, my mom and Parker at my graduation ceremony.  He wore my graduation cap on his little head with a crooked grin that showed exactly how incredibly proud of his mommy he was.  Parker was also right by my side when I graduated from Gonzaga with my masters in literacy.  Without doubt Parker has been one of the reasons why I continue to have the drive and motivation in life that I do. Everyday he shows me true GRIT, passion and perseverance in life.  As he embarks on this next chapter in his life I know that he will continue to amaze me with his positive, never give up drive!

Treatment begins...

Yesterday my beautiful momma was moved from the 9th floor at Sacred Heart to the 7th floor, the oncology unit.  It's one thing to be in the hospital and the feeling of sadness as you walk through the halls but a whole different feeling when you walk down the halls of patients who are ALL fighting cancer. The one thing I wasn't expecting to see was all the smiles, from nurses to patients (who were walking around with their chemotherapy IV drips) and family members supporting their loved ones.  It's simply amazing what a smile can do to lift your spirits.   My dad who has hardly left my mom's side needed a break and was happy to see me walk through the door of her hospital room.  He left to go home and would return later that night.

My mom started her first round of chemotherapy last night.  She had her port put in earlier that day and at 6:15pm we started the five and a half hour journey of giving her 3 different kinds of chemotherapy to fight this horrific disease. They gave her some saline first, then some nausea medicine, benadryl for any allergic reaction and then after 15 minutes came back to start her first of many IV drips of chemotherapy. The benadryl made her sleepy so she began resting when they first began.  I was alone in the room with her and watched as the IV drip slowly worked its way into the tube and through her port.  They gave her the highest dose you can, 3 weeks worth of chemotherapy at once.  As I sat looking at my mom I couldn't help but fight back tears because I knew in that moment that this was the start of a hard battle.  But as I looked at her a little more I was reminded that she is a fighter, the strongest, most optimistic, uplifting, selfless person I know.

After she woke up from her one hour nap, she looked at me and smiled.  She sat up in her bed and wanted to eat some dinner.  We talked, laughed and watched a little TV together. It's amazing how quickly 5 and a half hours can go when you are surrounded by people you love. A little after the last drip of chemotherapy was given, I kissed her forehead as she was peacefully sleeping and left.  As I walked to my car at 2am I thought about how blessed I have been to have my mother in my life.  I hope that one day I can be half the mother that she has been to me.

Our journey may have just started with her treatment and there will be some hard days ahead but I know that through this we will all become a little stronger, closer and appreciate life that much more.

One Word...

While sitting by my mom's bedside at the hospital over the past week I have been waiting for my "one word" to come to me as I venture into my 2nd year as Assistant Principal.  This is an activity that our Superintedent has us participate in each year.  The word that you choose should be one that you can connect with in your work life and your personal life. There have been several words that have crossed my mind as I have watched my mom battle this horrific disease of cancer.  Cancer has left her sick, weak, in excruciating pain and fighting for her life.  I find myself holding it together when I am with my mom because I don't want her to worry about me.  Which shows my strength but then when I am alone or with my husband I simply fall apart, cry and feel nothing but weakness.  The word strength just didn't seem fitting. Neither did the words, breathe, inspire, fight, live, love, heart or faith.  I was having a hard time finding the "one word" that would fit my personal journey right now and my work path until I kept coming across "one word" that stuck out to me.  The word, my one word for next year is moment. As I thought about this word I realized it was perfect. There have been moments in my career that have changed me, who I am, how I teach and the students that I connect with.  Moments where I was so happy to see a child succeed and moments of hurt and frustration when I wondered if I was truly doing enough to reach each student.  There have been moments in my career that have defined who I am as a leader and moments that I have learned from.  Moments in my personal life that have also changed me.  After losing our son in those moments I held onto my family. That moment changed me as a person, wife and mother.  Even though that moment was one of the hardest things I have endured that moment made be better.  Sometimes the moments of struggle, heartache and pain are the moments that make us who we are.  My focus for this year is going to be to live in the moment, each and every day.  To take the moments and cherish them for what they are. 

My "one word"  is truly more than fitting when you really take a good look at it...MOMent!