It all started two and a half years ago when I laced up a pair of running shoes for the first time and decided to pound the pavement. I had a good friend in tow and we huffed and puffed our way through a half a mile. Looking back now from where I started I find it funny that some runs are still just that hard even though I have accomplished more with running than I ever thought possible. Running started out as a way to lose the last of my baby weight from my third pregnancy and it wasn't until recently while training for a full marathon that I found much more than I ever expected...I found a stronger me! Everyone deals with hardships in life. My most painful hardship was losing our son Brody. I was 34 weeks pregnant with my twin boys when I received the heartbreaking news that our baby was gone. Our son Blake (Brody's twin) was born at 34 weeks and spent 10 days in the NICU before we were able to bring him home. Just 5 months later I found out I was pregnant again. Our son Kade was born a healthy 8 pounds 6 ounces! Kade was 7 months when I started running and training for my first half marathon. I loved the feeling of accomplishing something that I thought was out of my comfort zone when I crossed the finish line and I was hooked!
In January of this last year I signed up for my first full marathon. I knew a lot of training and time would need to go into it but my heart was set on finishing the race. During the long, grueling training runs I found myself grieving in a way that I hadn't yet done. Sure, I had tried talking to my husband, family and friends about the loss but no one really seemed to understand. I felt like I was in my own little world and no one "got" what I was feeling. It was on an early morning run at about mile 13 when I started thinking about Brody. My hand grabbed for my little ladybug necklace that I always ran with and I smiled. I knew he was running with me and believed that I could do this. Running became much more than just running to me; it was a time to feel a part of him with me, encouraging me and pushing me forward. The mental strength that comes with running 26.2 miles really can only be understood by someone who has done it. Now in life, even through the hardships, I know that the one thing I can always count on are my running shoes. It truly is my therapy. People ask me all the time why I run? My response is normally because I like the way it makes me feel, which is true, but the truth lies in the fact that running has been a way to help me grieve the unimaginable. Running has given me a sense of hope and strength unlike anything else.
