The Waiting Game...

I've had this feeling before.  The knot in my stomach, lump in my throat, feeling of panic and complete numbness. This time it came from a phone call from my dad and a panicked rush up to my parents house.  I walked in and my mom grabbed a hold of me, we hugged, started crying and I knew in that instant it was bad.  My mom, a two time breast cancer survivor has been in and out of doctors lately.  She has been diagnosed with a cough (that just needed to run its course) to IBS (so she changed up her diet) but it was Monday, July 25th when our entire lives changed.  That morning her breathing became more labored and her stomach became so enlarged she looked 6 months pregnant.  My dad took her into the urgent care and he refused to leave with her until they performed some actual tests and did a scan of her stomach.   In that moment I was thankful for my dad's stubborn ways.  My mom had fluid in her abdomen and around both of her lungs.  Then the word that I dreaded hearing, cancer.  From mastastesized lesions on her liver to masses in her stomach and ovaries.  To what extent is unknown until we meet with the oncologist and we get some results back.

Yesterday, I met my parents at 7am at the hospital so my mom could have a paracentesis (removal of fluid in the abdomen) and a thoracentesis (removal of fluid around her lungs). Thankfully, I was able to stay in the room with her for both of these procedures.  Not really knowing what I was getting into or how I would handle watching the needles I simply had to remain strong because it was extremely painful for her.  She started breathing better but wasn't feeling very well after the procedure.  Her vitals continually dropped and they were looking at sending her to the ER and admitting her overnight.  With some oxygen and rest her vitals came back up, she was able to eat and looked a little more like her spunky sweet self.  She was sent home from the hospital last night and now it's calls to Cancer Care Northwest today, scheduling appointments and waiting.  Waiting to see what is next.  I know one thing, my mom is the strongest woman I know and a fighter!